what did we do before cell phones? more importantly, what did we do before texting?
i can think back to a time when texting was forbidden in my household. why? because it was 10 cents a text! sending or recieving, it all cost a nice shiny dime, or two nickles, which ever you had. even 10 pennies. you had to make sure ever text was worth it. there was nothing more irriating than a one word text. it was like, seriously? i just paid 10 cents for that?! ten more of those and i could have purchased something from the dollar bin at target! (well, i guess back then target hadn't come up with the dollar bins yet. so no huge loss. but still, 10 cents!) sometimes, i could get away with not opening the message and just guess what the person on the other end of the text message was trying to say by the first 3 or 4 words of the text. it was really difficult and often times i was wrong. i could only get away with 3 or four text messages and responses without my parents noticing a surplus on their monthly cell phone bill.
cell phone providers finally got smart and stopped charging per text and created texting plans. really, if you're going to do any text plan, you might as well do unlimited. those little messages will get out of hand before you know it. you might think you won't use over 1000. but you will. usually the people that think they wont, do. anyways, once unlimited texting plans were created, a while new world was opened up to the human race. a new stream of communication.
now, i could do what i usually do and research this topic to death and present a bunch of facts that support my point. maybe even create a few controversial arguments about how texting is degenerating the art of communication as we know it, but i'm too lazy to do it today and i'm about to be on my lunch break. so i'll just say this:
texting is my link to the outside world when i am in the office stuck answering phones! without texting i would die of information starvation. without texting my social sphere would shatter around me and cause me to become awkward and unfriendly. my boss should be pleased with my desire to stay up to date on current events and have something to chit chat with the patients about. otherwise. i would lose my edge and be useless as a receptionist/front desk office assistant. with texting, life is good.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
solitaire
originally known as "patience" in europe, in spain known as "solitario" (yes, very creative) and in the united states known as solitaire is a game played by one person, alone.
it is believed by many people who are like me and try to find the origins of random, sometimes meaningless, but nevertheless well known things, that solitaire as we know it was probably played with tarot cards and probably the mother (or father if solitaire is like a seahorse) of all multi player card games.
to truly understand solitaire, as i strive to this day, we must understand the origin of playing cards. according to solitarecentral.com (yes. it exists.) playing cards were first introduced in italy sometime during the 1300s. probably some rogue italian man, probably named mattia battistini, who was destined to inherit his father's opera house but he wasn't interested in that sort of thing so he ran away and vowed to never return and while mattia battistini was never returning he met a strange old man and the old man took him under his wing and started to teach him many tricks and trades and shared an idea with him about a card used for entertainment. the old man probably taught and trained the runaway man many different types of games and together they stared the creation of playing cards. unfortunetly the old man died when they were digging a tunnel underneath a prison to escape (what? i didn't mention they were in prison?) and the old man gave mattia battistini a map on a circular piece of cloth that led him to a large fortune and mattia battistini used the fortune to get his girlfriend back (who has married his ex-best friend) and get revenge on all the people that had him thrown into prison and with the left over money he started his own playing card factory and thus the first playing cards were invented. (yes i know this sounds a lot like the count of monte cristo but key details will tell you that, while it is similar, there are very important differences in the two stories.)
so playing cards were invented in the 1300s. after their creation they became very popular in northern europe. the first known solitaire game rules were recorded sometime during the napoleonic era. as i suspected, napoleon himself played solitaire (or patience if your european) during his exile at st helena.
solitairecentral.com says he played it in his spare time, well, i was wondering, when you're in exile on an island dedicated to keeping you from society, what else do you have other than spare time?
the author of war and peace, tolstoy, also played solitaire. around the same time as napoleon. tolstoy even mentioned the game in a scene from his famous and incredibly boring novel. it's said that tolstoy used cards to make decisions for him in a "superstitious way". well, those cards should have told him to write twilight or harry potter or something. cards are working out to well for ya are they tolstoy?
some variations of solitaire have strange origins. bill beers was in a mental asylum when he invented "cribbage solitaire". good ol' bill beers had plenty of time to come up with his own version of solitaire. the prisoners were not allowed to use traditional cards like the ones invented by mattia battistini because they could be used as a weapon, haven't you ever seen batman? so they had to use these thick tiles as their cards. my question is, what is bill beers doing in a mental asylum if he can create new versions of solitaire? my answer is, probably solitaire got him there. it's almost gotten me there plenty of times.
well, after this brief and incredibly factual and nonfactual-at-the-same-time look at solitaire's history, this is my conclusion. solitaire will drive you mad. if you don't win, you will keep playing till you do and if you win, you have to prove you're better and play again. it's a vicious cycle that i've been caught in pretty much all week. until i decided to close the little window on my computer and open up this blog post. if you must play a game on your computer, play minesweeper. do not fall into the evil clutches of solitaire, or patience. i have no patience for patience, and neither should you.
it is believed by many people who are like me and try to find the origins of random, sometimes meaningless, but nevertheless well known things, that solitaire as we know it was probably played with tarot cards and probably the mother (or father if solitaire is like a seahorse) of all multi player card games.
to truly understand solitaire, as i strive to this day, we must understand the origin of playing cards. according to solitarecentral.com (yes. it exists.) playing cards were first introduced in italy sometime during the 1300s. probably some rogue italian man, probably named mattia battistini, who was destined to inherit his father's opera house but he wasn't interested in that sort of thing so he ran away and vowed to never return and while mattia battistini was never returning he met a strange old man and the old man took him under his wing and started to teach him many tricks and trades and shared an idea with him about a card used for entertainment. the old man probably taught and trained the runaway man many different types of games and together they stared the creation of playing cards. unfortunetly the old man died when they were digging a tunnel underneath a prison to escape (what? i didn't mention they were in prison?) and the old man gave mattia battistini a map on a circular piece of cloth that led him to a large fortune and mattia battistini used the fortune to get his girlfriend back (who has married his ex-best friend) and get revenge on all the people that had him thrown into prison and with the left over money he started his own playing card factory and thus the first playing cards were invented. (yes i know this sounds a lot like the count of monte cristo but key details will tell you that, while it is similar, there are very important differences in the two stories.)
so playing cards were invented in the 1300s. after their creation they became very popular in northern europe. the first known solitaire game rules were recorded sometime during the napoleonic era. as i suspected, napoleon himself played solitaire (or patience if your european) during his exile at st helena.
solitairecentral.com says he played it in his spare time, well, i was wondering, when you're in exile on an island dedicated to keeping you from society, what else do you have other than spare time?
the author of war and peace, tolstoy, also played solitaire. around the same time as napoleon. tolstoy even mentioned the game in a scene from his famous and incredibly boring novel. it's said that tolstoy used cards to make decisions for him in a "superstitious way". well, those cards should have told him to write twilight or harry potter or something. cards are working out to well for ya are they tolstoy?
some variations of solitaire have strange origins. bill beers was in a mental asylum when he invented "cribbage solitaire". good ol' bill beers had plenty of time to come up with his own version of solitaire. the prisoners were not allowed to use traditional cards like the ones invented by mattia battistini because they could be used as a weapon, haven't you ever seen batman? so they had to use these thick tiles as their cards. my question is, what is bill beers doing in a mental asylum if he can create new versions of solitaire? my answer is, probably solitaire got him there. it's almost gotten me there plenty of times.
well, after this brief and incredibly factual and nonfactual-at-the-same-time look at solitaire's history, this is my conclusion. solitaire will drive you mad. if you don't win, you will keep playing till you do and if you win, you have to prove you're better and play again. it's a vicious cycle that i've been caught in pretty much all week. until i decided to close the little window on my computer and open up this blog post. if you must play a game on your computer, play minesweeper. do not fall into the evil clutches of solitaire, or patience. i have no patience for patience, and neither should you.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
sticks and twists
i have here for you and argument, an argument about the superiority that pretzel sticks have over pretzel twists.
I have reason to suppose that pretzel sticks and pretzel twists are involved in a rivalry that runs deep and has been going on since their creation.
the twisted pretzel was the first to be created by monks in southern france. the monks had left over dough from bread and other baked goods and needed a way to use it so it would not go to waste. the monks chose to twist the dough in the familiar pattern we know today as a representation of children folding their arms. the monks called the creation, pretiola- latin for little reward. the pretzels were a reward and became very popular and in high demand through europe.
the reason i go into such depth about the pretzel twist is because though it was the first to be created, the stick is the result of microevolution. the twist is simply not as conveient. the pretzel stick is an upgrade from the regualr twist. it give the lucky person in possession of such a treat easy grip and great eatability. pretzel sticks are a great snack to sneak in school or at work. a twist is simply too large and complicated to just slip into your mouth. it is much easier to stick a stick pretzel in your mouth and chew it without notice. pretzel twists are often thicker and harder to chew, not to mention they cause more of a crunch that could draw attention to yourself.
pretzel sticks are also cheaper and more come in the package. so more pretzel for your buck! while the history of the pretzel twist may be more interesting than that of the pretzel stick, there is no doubt that the stick will always hold more popularity in my book, and the book of many others as well.
as i write this i am at work and snacking on a small bag of delicious pretzel sticks. no one has noticed and they are yummy.
long live pretzel sticks!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
right on target
nathan and i bought our first vacuum last night. it was so exciting! i can't even tell you how hard it was to pick one out! who would've known there were so many different choices. we went with a dirt devil, bagless. it just looks like it's ready to vacuum. nate and i are both very pleased with our purchase. we also picked up a snow cone ice shaver. must have. when we got home nathan put the vacuum together like a manly man and he vacuumed up the mess the vacuum made. circle of life i guess. i can't wait to vacuum our whole apartment! all 743 square feet of it! nathan and i need to think of a name for the vacuum. like chaez or lightning mcqueen. we watched tommy boy after he put it together so maybe we'll name it richard or something. exciting life!
i love our new vacuum and snow cone maker! target has everything you could ever need!
i love our new vacuum and snow cone maker! target has everything you could ever need!
jumping spiders
the cabin my parents call theirs sits about 35 minutes outside of st. george. horses neigh and birds sing as you pull up the rocky drive. the logs that form the frame look like they were carefully carved to keep that clean but rugged look. the flower beds in the yard are colorful and the flowers seem to bloom all year-round. the wrap around porch with a light that's always on welcomes many tired and weary travelers. there are a few chairs that linger on the porch to welcome anyone who might want to sit and view the majesty of the great mountains that stretch across the face of utah. as you park your car in the front yard and walk to the pathway and up the 4 stairs that lead you to the front door you can't help but feel relieved to soon be on a comfy couch with a nice cup or hot cocoa or a cold bowl of the yummiest ice cream you can find. the night air nips at your neck as you make your way to the door. with your bags on your arm and your hand on the door you turn the key to enter into the peaceful refuge called the cabin. this is where i start my story. this is where my memory...my vivid unexaggerated memory... begins:
before i can finish turning the key a huge moth with the wing span as wide as a average paperback novel hits me in the throat and choas follows. how could i have forgotten? a light in the night will without doubt attract the most wretched creatures- moths. as i navigate through the mess of disfunctional and disoriented moths i find the door, enter and shut the door quickly before more find there way in the house. i am extremely bugged (no pun intended) and I can't stop shuttering because i feel like there are still moths stuck in my hair or on my. did i mention there was also a huge dragon fly in the midst of all these moths? what was that dragon fly doing up during this late hour? i was perplexed. inside the cabin it in completely dark. just a few rays from the moon shine in and give me a pathway to the wall where i think i can recall a light switch being. as i walk over a flying insect of some sort flies in front of me threateningly. it glares at me as if to say, "get. out." i ignore this warning and proceed to the wall. i look around the corner and move my hand towards what looks like a shadow on the wall from the light switch. i quickly flick the light switch on but instead of my fingers touching the cold plastic of a switch they touch the furry back of a lethal spider. the spider, unhappy with the greeting jumps at me and tries to attack! i run as quick as i can and try to get the attention of my husband. unfortunately he is outside at the car unloading our luggage and can not hear my call to him. as i try to run the spider trips me with one of his legs and grabs me by the ankles and i try to crawl away. i am unable to break from it's amazing grip. it pulls me back towards the laundry room dragging me on the floor. i grab onto a door frame and struggle against it's strength. before it can get me back to it's web my hero husband shows up. i yell to him and tell him to get something to kill it. he frantically runs to the closet. 'he's getting the gun' i think to myself and smile as i think of the spider getting what it deserves. nathan emerges from the closet with his flip flop and hits the spider with it and smashes it up against the wall. "where is it?!" i call out. "it's smashed on the wall" my hero nathan calls back. i look at the wall and see a few spider legs and some guts. "that's not all of it! where's the rest of it?" i say. "heather. it's dead."
i guess i'll never know for sure. but this i know for sure, that spider was out to get me. it was an innocent mistake. if it doesn't want people thinking it's a light switch then maybe it should think a little harder next time it choses to just sit on the wall like that. stay tuned....
disclaimer: for those of you who are judging me right now saying, "heather, come on. it's just a moth!" or "it's just a spider! you're such a baby! you always say you like camping and you can't even handle a little spider being around you? what's your deal?" ok. here is my excuse. i love camping. i can handle bugs when i'm camping because when i'm camping i'm living life by their terms. i'm in the wild, anything can happen and i knew that when i agreed to go camping. when i'm in my house or, in this case, my parent's cabin, those bugs are in MY territory. therefore, i have every right to be appauled at their existance and get mad when they fly all over me or try to jump on me. the end.
before i can finish turning the key a huge moth with the wing span as wide as a average paperback novel hits me in the throat and choas follows. how could i have forgotten? a light in the night will without doubt attract the most wretched creatures- moths. as i navigate through the mess of disfunctional and disoriented moths i find the door, enter and shut the door quickly before more find there way in the house. i am extremely bugged (no pun intended) and I can't stop shuttering because i feel like there are still moths stuck in my hair or on my. did i mention there was also a huge dragon fly in the midst of all these moths? what was that dragon fly doing up during this late hour? i was perplexed. inside the cabin it in completely dark. just a few rays from the moon shine in and give me a pathway to the wall where i think i can recall a light switch being. as i walk over a flying insect of some sort flies in front of me threateningly. it glares at me as if to say, "get. out." i ignore this warning and proceed to the wall. i look around the corner and move my hand towards what looks like a shadow on the wall from the light switch. i quickly flick the light switch on but instead of my fingers touching the cold plastic of a switch they touch the furry back of a lethal spider. the spider, unhappy with the greeting jumps at me and tries to attack! i run as quick as i can and try to get the attention of my husband. unfortunately he is outside at the car unloading our luggage and can not hear my call to him. as i try to run the spider trips me with one of his legs and grabs me by the ankles and i try to crawl away. i am unable to break from it's amazing grip. it pulls me back towards the laundry room dragging me on the floor. i grab onto a door frame and struggle against it's strength. before it can get me back to it's web my hero husband shows up. i yell to him and tell him to get something to kill it. he frantically runs to the closet. 'he's getting the gun' i think to myself and smile as i think of the spider getting what it deserves. nathan emerges from the closet with his flip flop and hits the spider with it and smashes it up against the wall. "where is it?!" i call out. "it's smashed on the wall" my hero nathan calls back. i look at the wall and see a few spider legs and some guts. "that's not all of it! where's the rest of it?" i say. "heather. it's dead."
i guess i'll never know for sure. but this i know for sure, that spider was out to get me. it was an innocent mistake. if it doesn't want people thinking it's a light switch then maybe it should think a little harder next time it choses to just sit on the wall like that. stay tuned....
disclaimer: for those of you who are judging me right now saying, "heather, come on. it's just a moth!" or "it's just a spider! you're such a baby! you always say you like camping and you can't even handle a little spider being around you? what's your deal?" ok. here is my excuse. i love camping. i can handle bugs when i'm camping because when i'm camping i'm living life by their terms. i'm in the wild, anything can happen and i knew that when i agreed to go camping. when i'm in my house or, in this case, my parent's cabin, those bugs are in MY territory. therefore, i have every right to be appauled at their existance and get mad when they fly all over me or try to jump on me. the end.
the road and the radio
nate & i + ford explorer + st. george= BEST MEMORIES! nathan and i went on a road trip, if you couldn't tell from my complex equation. we went on a road trip for our honeymoon which was amazing!!!! but there is something to be said about the adventure of a last minute road trip to good ol' st. george utah! i just can't even explain how fun it is to be able to just pick up and go on a trip with my best friend and have the time of our lives! i love being married! sometimes life throws undesirable obstacles in your way, but if you can learn to see the good in all things and remember that there is purpose in it all, you can be happy and have fun no matter what lies in your path. this trip to st. george was not for fun. we had to take care of some things that weren't something i would call "fun" but we looked for the bright side and we found it! nate and i were able to go to a session at the st. george temple, the place my mother and father were married at years ago, and see the sealing room where it all started. it was breath taking and the spirit we felt there is unspeakable. our attendance was a fathers day gift of sorts to my father who passed away almost 9 years ago. we love life, but the most important things are the things you can still have when life is through, like eternal familes and the knowledge of the gospel. i feel so blessed to have so many wonderful things in my life! my husband is amazing and spending this weekend with him was amazing! road trips are the best!!!!!! adventures with nathan are my favorite!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
cream of chicken
i went grocery shopping for the first time as a married woman the other day. it was quite an adventure. i have been grocery shopping many times before, but this time it was different. this time it was legit. i shopped at costco. costco is not your normal grocery store, it is a grocery store on steroids. it's a little daunting, as a first timer. the shelves and shelves of different foods and appliances scared me at first, but i was bound and determine to overcome my fear and make it to the check out. this was my first time in costco alone. it was like i set out on the plains as a pioneer alone, the wilderness spread out in front of me- i didn't know where to start. you know when you have a task to accomplish and it seems so overwelming it sort of paralyzes you? that is costco to me. i showed my costco card (well, actually my mom's, i'm not officially a club member yet), grabbed a huge cart and entered the vast frontier. as i unfolded my humble list on lined paper, i felt costco laugh at me. i looked around and saw people with their carts stacked high with bulk items, some people had the flat carts stacked with boxes and others even had two carts. you gotta stock up on the must haves. buying bulk is a nerve racking thing, what if you buy too much and it goes bad? what if you don't like it? what if...well, i'm a pro at what ifs. but i will say one thing, you can get an incredible amount of carrots at costco for an incredibly low price. also, i will never buy tortilla chips from anywhere else again. i can get a huge bag of mission chips for cheaper than a small bag of the generic great value tortilla chips at walmart or smiths. at that point, costco had me sold. literally. while i did spend more money than i might have at smiths or walmart, i won't have to go buy carrots, green beans, broccoli or refried beans for a long, long, long, long time. my first real shopping experience as a wife was wonderful. i got a great workout pushing that huge cart around and then unloading everything into our apartment...on the second floor. i made about 24 trips, just going up. it was great. my legs are toned. stay tuned...
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