jumping spiders

the cabin my parents call theirs sits about 35 minutes outside of st. george. horses neigh and birds sing as you pull up the rocky drive. the logs that form the frame look like they were carefully carved to keep that clean but rugged look. the flower beds in the yard are colorful and the flowers seem to bloom all year-round. the wrap around porch with a light that's always on welcomes many tired and weary travelers. there are a few chairs that linger on the porch to welcome anyone who might want to sit and view the majesty of the great mountains that stretch across the face of utah. as you park your car in the front yard and walk to the pathway and up the 4 stairs that lead you to the front door you can't help but feel relieved to soon be on a comfy couch with a nice cup or hot cocoa or a cold bowl of the yummiest ice cream you can find. the night air nips at your neck as you make your way to the door. with your bags on your arm and your hand on the door you turn the key to enter into the peaceful refuge called the cabin. this is where i start my story. this is where my memory...my vivid unexaggerated memory... begins:

before i can finish turning the key a huge moth with the wing span as wide as a average paperback novel hits me in the throat and choas follows. how could i have forgotten? a light in the night will without doubt attract the most wretched creatures- moths. as i navigate through the mess of disfunctional and disoriented moths i find the door, enter and shut the door quickly before more find there way in the house. i am extremely bugged (no pun intended) and I can't stop shuttering because i feel like there are still moths stuck in my hair or on my. did i mention there was also a huge dragon fly in the midst of all these moths? what was that dragon fly doing up during this late hour? i was perplexed. inside the cabin it in completely dark. just a few rays from the moon shine in and give me a pathway to the wall where i think i can recall a light switch being. as i walk over a flying insect of some sort flies in front of me threateningly. it glares at me as if to say, "get. out." i ignore this warning and proceed to the wall. i look around the corner and move my hand towards what looks like a shadow on the wall from the light switch. i quickly flick the light switch on but instead of my fingers touching the cold plastic of a switch they touch the furry back of a lethal spider. the spider, unhappy with the greeting jumps at me and tries to attack! i run as quick as i can and try to get the attention of my husband. unfortunately he is outside at the car unloading our luggage and can not hear my call to him. as i try to run the spider trips me with one of his legs and grabs me by the ankles and i try to crawl away. i am unable to break from it's amazing grip. it pulls me back towards the laundry room dragging me on the floor. i grab onto a door frame and struggle against it's strength. before it can get me back to it's web my hero husband shows up. i yell to him and tell him to get something to kill it. he frantically runs to the closet. 'he's getting the gun' i think to myself and smile as i think of the spider getting what it deserves. nathan emerges from the closet with his flip flop and hits the spider with it and smashes it up against the wall. "where is it?!" i call out. "it's smashed on the wall" my hero nathan calls back. i look at the wall and see a few spider legs and some guts. "that's not all of it! where's the rest of it?" i say. "heather. it's dead."

i guess i'll never know for sure. but this i know for sure, that spider was out to get me. it was an innocent mistake. if it doesn't want people thinking it's a light switch then maybe it should think a little harder next time it choses to just sit on the wall like that. stay tuned....


disclaimer: for those of you who are judging me right now saying, "heather, come on. it's just a moth!" or "it's just a spider! you're such a baby! you always say you like camping and you can't even handle a little spider being around you? what's your deal?" ok. here is my excuse. i love camping. i can handle bugs when i'm camping because when i'm camping i'm living life by their terms. i'm in the wild, anything can happen and i knew that when i agreed to go camping. when i'm in my house or, in this case, my parent's cabin, those bugs are in MY territory. therefore, i have every right to be appauled at their existance and get mad when they fly all over me or try to jump on me. the end.