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what did we do before cell phones? more importantly, what did we do before texting?

i can think back to a time when texting was forbidden in my household. why? because it was 10 cents a text! sending or recieving, it all cost a nice shiny dime, or two nickles, which ever you had. even 10 pennies. you had to make sure ever text was worth it. there was nothing more irriating than a one word text. it was like, seriously? i just paid 10 cents for that?! ten more of those and i could have purchased something from the dollar bin at target! (well, i guess back then target hadn't come up with the dollar bins yet. so no huge loss. but still, 10 cents!) sometimes, i could get away with not opening the message and just guess what the person on the other end of the text message was trying to say by the first 3 or 4 words of the text. it was really difficult and often times i was wrong. i could only get away with 3 or four text messages and responses without my parents noticing a surplus on their monthly cell phone bill.

cell phone providers finally got smart and stopped charging per text and created texting plans. really, if you're going to do any text plan, you might as well do unlimited. those little messages will get out of hand before you know it. you might think you won't use over 1000. but you will. usually the people that think they wont, do. anyways, once unlimited texting plans were created, a while new world was opened up to the human race. a new stream of communication.

now, i could do what i usually do and research this topic to death and present a bunch of facts that support my point. maybe even create a few controversial arguments about how texting is degenerating the art of communication as we know it, but i'm too lazy to do it today and i'm about to be on my lunch break. so i'll just say this:

texting is my link to the outside world when i am in the office stuck answering phones! without texting i would die of information starvation. without texting my social sphere would shatter around me and cause me to become awkward and unfriendly. my boss should be pleased with my desire to stay up to date on current events and have something to chit chat with the patients about. otherwise. i would lose my edge and be useless as a receptionist/front desk office assistant. with texting, life is good.

solitaire

originally known as "patience" in europe, in spain known as "solitario" (yes, very creative) and in the united states known as solitaire is a game played by one person, alone.

it is believed by many people who are like me and try to find the origins of random, sometimes meaningless, but nevertheless well known things, that solitaire as we know it was probably played with tarot cards and probably the mother (or father if solitaire is like a seahorse) of all multi player card games.

to truly understand solitaire, as i strive to this day, we must understand the origin of playing cards. according to solitarecentral.com (yes. it exists.) playing cards were first introduced in italy sometime during the 1300s. probably some rogue italian man, probably named mattia battistini, who was destined to inherit his father's opera house but he wasn't interested in that sort of thing so he ran away and vowed to never return and while mattia battistini was never returning he met a strange old man and the old man took him under his wing and started to teach him many tricks and trades and shared an idea with him about a card used for entertainment. the old man probably taught and trained the runaway man many different types of games and together they stared the creation of playing cards. unfortunetly the old man died when they were digging a tunnel underneath a prison to escape (what? i didn't mention they were in prison?) and the old man gave mattia battistini a map on a circular piece of cloth that led him to a large fortune and mattia battistini used the fortune to get his girlfriend back (who has married his ex-best friend) and get revenge on all the people that had him thrown into prison and with the left over money he started his own playing card factory and thus the first playing cards were invented. (yes i know this sounds a lot like the count of monte cristo but key details will tell you that, while it is similar, there are very important differences in the two stories.)

so playing cards were invented in the 1300s. after their creation they became very popular in northern europe. the first known solitaire game rules were recorded sometime during the napoleonic era. as i suspected, napoleon himself played solitaire (or patience if your european) during his exile at st helena.

solitairecentral.com says he played it in his spare time, well, i was wondering, when you're in exile on an island dedicated to keeping you from society, what else do you have other than spare time?

the author of war and peace, tolstoy, also played solitaire. around the same time as napoleon. tolstoy even mentioned the game in a scene from his famous and incredibly boring novel. it's said that tolstoy used cards to make decisions for him in a "superstitious way". well, those cards should have told him to write twilight or harry potter or something. cards are working out to well for ya are they tolstoy?

some variations of solitaire have strange origins. bill beers was in a mental asylum when he invented "cribbage solitaire". good ol' bill beers had plenty of time to come up with his own version of solitaire. the prisoners were not allowed to use traditional cards like the ones invented by mattia battistini because they could be used as a weapon, haven't you ever seen batman? so they had to use these thick tiles as their cards. my question is, what is bill beers doing in a mental asylum if he can create new versions of solitaire? my answer is, probably solitaire got him there. it's almost gotten me there plenty of times.

well, after this brief and incredibly factual and nonfactual-at-the-same-time look at solitaire's history, this is my conclusion. solitaire will drive you mad. if you don't win, you will keep playing till you do and if you win, you have to prove you're better and play again. it's a vicious cycle that i've been caught in pretty much all week. until i decided to close the little window on my computer and open up this blog post. if you must play a game on your computer, play minesweeper. do not fall into the evil clutches of solitaire, or patience. i have no patience for patience, and neither should you.

sticks and twists

i have here for you and argument, an argument about the superiority that pretzel sticks have over pretzel twists.

I have reason to suppose that pretzel sticks and pretzel twists are involved in a rivalry that runs deep and has been going on since their creation.

the twisted pretzel was the first to be created by monks in southern france. the monks had left over dough from bread and other baked goods and needed a way to use it so it would not go to waste. the monks chose to twist the dough in the familiar pattern we know today as a representation of children folding their arms. the monks called the creation, pretiola- latin for little reward. the pretzels were a reward and became very popular and in high demand through europe.

the reason i go into such depth about the pretzel twist is because though it was the first to be created, the stick is the result of microevolution. the twist is simply not as conveient. the pretzel stick is an upgrade from the regualr twist. it give the lucky person in possession of such a treat easy grip and great eatability. pretzel sticks are a great snack to sneak in school or at work. a twist is simply too large and complicated to just slip into your mouth. it is much easier to stick a stick pretzel in your mouth and chew it without notice. pretzel twists are often thicker and harder to chew, not to mention they cause more of a crunch that could draw attention to yourself.

pretzel sticks are also cheaper and more come in the package. so more pretzel for your buck! while the history of the pretzel twist may be more interesting than that of the pretzel stick, there is no doubt that the stick will always hold more popularity in my book, and the book of many others as well.

as i write this i am at work and snacking on a small bag of delicious pretzel sticks. no one has noticed and they are yummy.

long live pretzel sticks!

right on target

nathan and i bought our first vacuum last night. it was so exciting! i can't even tell you how hard it was to pick one out! who would've known there were so many different choices. we went with a dirt devil, bagless. it just looks like it's ready to vacuum. nate and i are both very pleased with our purchase. we also picked up a snow cone ice shaver. must have. when we got home nathan put the vacuum together like a manly man and he vacuumed up the mess the vacuum made. circle of life i guess. i can't wait to vacuum our whole apartment! all 743 square feet of it! nathan and i need to think of a name for the vacuum. like chaez or lightning mcqueen. we watched tommy boy after he put it together so maybe we'll name it richard or something. exciting life!

i love our new vacuum and snow cone maker! target has everything you could ever need!

jumping spiders

the cabin my parents call theirs sits about 35 minutes outside of st. george. horses neigh and birds sing as you pull up the rocky drive. the logs that form the frame look like they were carefully carved to keep that clean but rugged look. the flower beds in the yard are colorful and the flowers seem to bloom all year-round. the wrap around porch with a light that's always on welcomes many tired and weary travelers. there are a few chairs that linger on the porch to welcome anyone who might want to sit and view the majesty of the great mountains that stretch across the face of utah. as you park your car in the front yard and walk to the pathway and up the 4 stairs that lead you to the front door you can't help but feel relieved to soon be on a comfy couch with a nice cup or hot cocoa or a cold bowl of the yummiest ice cream you can find. the night air nips at your neck as you make your way to the door. with your bags on your arm and your hand on the door you turn the key to enter into the peaceful refuge called the cabin. this is where i start my story. this is where my memory...my vivid unexaggerated memory... begins:

before i can finish turning the key a huge moth with the wing span as wide as a average paperback novel hits me in the throat and choas follows. how could i have forgotten? a light in the night will without doubt attract the most wretched creatures- moths. as i navigate through the mess of disfunctional and disoriented moths i find the door, enter and shut the door quickly before more find there way in the house. i am extremely bugged (no pun intended) and I can't stop shuttering because i feel like there are still moths stuck in my hair or on my. did i mention there was also a huge dragon fly in the midst of all these moths? what was that dragon fly doing up during this late hour? i was perplexed. inside the cabin it in completely dark. just a few rays from the moon shine in and give me a pathway to the wall where i think i can recall a light switch being. as i walk over a flying insect of some sort flies in front of me threateningly. it glares at me as if to say, "get. out." i ignore this warning and proceed to the wall. i look around the corner and move my hand towards what looks like a shadow on the wall from the light switch. i quickly flick the light switch on but instead of my fingers touching the cold plastic of a switch they touch the furry back of a lethal spider. the spider, unhappy with the greeting jumps at me and tries to attack! i run as quick as i can and try to get the attention of my husband. unfortunately he is outside at the car unloading our luggage and can not hear my call to him. as i try to run the spider trips me with one of his legs and grabs me by the ankles and i try to crawl away. i am unable to break from it's amazing grip. it pulls me back towards the laundry room dragging me on the floor. i grab onto a door frame and struggle against it's strength. before it can get me back to it's web my hero husband shows up. i yell to him and tell him to get something to kill it. he frantically runs to the closet. 'he's getting the gun' i think to myself and smile as i think of the spider getting what it deserves. nathan emerges from the closet with his flip flop and hits the spider with it and smashes it up against the wall. "where is it?!" i call out. "it's smashed on the wall" my hero nathan calls back. i look at the wall and see a few spider legs and some guts. "that's not all of it! where's the rest of it?" i say. "heather. it's dead."

i guess i'll never know for sure. but this i know for sure, that spider was out to get me. it was an innocent mistake. if it doesn't want people thinking it's a light switch then maybe it should think a little harder next time it choses to just sit on the wall like that. stay tuned....


disclaimer: for those of you who are judging me right now saying, "heather, come on. it's just a moth!" or "it's just a spider! you're such a baby! you always say you like camping and you can't even handle a little spider being around you? what's your deal?" ok. here is my excuse. i love camping. i can handle bugs when i'm camping because when i'm camping i'm living life by their terms. i'm in the wild, anything can happen and i knew that when i agreed to go camping. when i'm in my house or, in this case, my parent's cabin, those bugs are in MY territory. therefore, i have every right to be appauled at their existance and get mad when they fly all over me or try to jump on me. the end.

the road and the radio

nate & i + ford explorer + st. george= BEST MEMORIES! nathan and i went on a road trip, if you couldn't tell from my complex equation. we went on a road trip for our honeymoon which was amazing!!!! but there is something to be said about the adventure of a last minute road trip to good ol' st. george utah! i just can't even explain how fun it is to be able to just pick up and go on a trip with my best friend and have the time of our lives! i love being married! sometimes life throws undesirable obstacles in your way, but if you can learn to see the good in all things and remember that there is purpose in it all, you can be happy and have fun no matter what lies in your path. this trip to st. george was not for fun. we had to take care of some things that weren't something i would call "fun" but we looked for the bright side and we found it! nate and i were able to go to a session at the st. george temple, the place my mother and father were married at years ago, and see the sealing room where it all started. it was breath taking and the spirit we felt there is unspeakable. our attendance was a fathers day gift of sorts to my father who passed away almost 9 years ago. we love life, but the most important things are the things you can still have when life is through, like eternal familes and the knowledge of the gospel. i feel so blessed to have so many wonderful things in my life! my husband is amazing and spending this weekend with him was amazing! road trips are the best!!!!!! adventures with nathan are my favorite!

cream of chicken

i went grocery shopping for the first time as a married woman the other day. it was quite an adventure. i have been grocery shopping many times before, but this time it was different. this time it was legit. i shopped at costco. costco is not your normal grocery store, it is a grocery store on steroids. it's a little daunting, as a first timer. the shelves and shelves of different foods and appliances scared me at first, but i was bound and determine to overcome my fear and make it to the check out. this was my first time in costco alone. it was like i set out on the plains as a pioneer alone, the wilderness spread out in front of me- i didn't know where to start. you know when you have a task to accomplish and it seems so overwelming it sort of paralyzes you? that is costco to me. i showed my costco card (well, actually my mom's, i'm not officially a club member yet), grabbed a huge cart and entered the vast frontier. as i unfolded my humble list on lined paper, i felt costco laugh at me. i looked around and saw people with their carts stacked high with bulk items, some people had the flat carts stacked with boxes and others even had two carts. you gotta stock up on the must haves. buying bulk is a nerve racking thing, what if you buy too much and it goes bad? what if you don't like it? what if...well, i'm a pro at what ifs. but i will say one thing, you can get an incredible amount of carrots at costco for an incredibly low price. also, i will never buy tortilla chips from anywhere else again. i can get a huge bag of mission chips for cheaper than a small bag of the generic great value tortilla chips at walmart or smiths. at that point, costco had me sold. literally. while i did spend more money than i might have at smiths or walmart, i won't have to go buy carrots, green beans, broccoli or refried beans for a long, long, long, long time. my first real shopping experience as a wife was wonderful. i got a great workout pushing that huge cart around and then unloading everything into our apartment...on the second floor. i made about 24 trips, just going up. it was great. my legs are toned. stay tuned...

wedding bliss with a side of fries

when nathan and i arrived at my parents home, it was a mad house (even more so than usual!) the wind was blowing. the tablecloths were blowing higher than marilyn monroe's skirt and trees were falling over like we were in lumberjack country. everyone was running around wiring things to the walls, tying things down and repositioning everything that just kept falling over. even my groom had to slip out of his white shirt and tie and do a little drilling. i was still confined to the wedding dress and so i chose to write in my journal the events of the day. i sat in the old green overstuffed chair my parents have in their living room and wrote in my journal. with everyone blowing past me and the wind terrorizing the backyard reception i sat calm, cool and collected, knowing that the most important thing had already happened and i was sealed to my sweetheart. the reception was to begin at half past six. as the time drew nearer many began to fear the outside reception was a mistake. if the heat didn't get you, the wind would! luckily, it was the coolest june day anyone had ever heard of! i decided to go into my "room" and say a quick prayer of thanks, as i did i ask for the wind to stop. minutes later, when the clock struck half past six, the wind ceased, the party began and everyone was happy. i think someone put a good word in with the man upstairs for nathan and i because everything was absolutely perfect! the reception was more than i ever dreamed it could be! friends and family- loved ones- came to celebrate and everyone raved about the sugar cookies (thank you pinks! you do so much for me!). as nathan and i hugged and greeted, every once in a while we would have a moment to look at each other and steal a kiss. i couldn't believe it was finally here! i was standing next to my husband! the reception seemed to fly by. i loved seeing everyone having so much fun and i had a lot of fun myself! grammy made us a beautiful quilt with her own bear hands! she hand stiched the entire temple onto the quilt!!! she's so great! so, after a few dances, and very special moments it came time to say goodbye and start our lives together for real! nathan and i both agreed that we weren't officially married and legit till after the reception (we have our own logic). we walked out of the backyard and everyone blew bubbles, i heard my dad yell "ow! it got in my eye!!!" and we jumped in the car . nathan's brother jake let us drive away in his chrysler 300 and we were lookin fly! as we drove to our suite at the bellagio (life long dream=fulfilled! thanks dad and brother bresler!) we talked about the day and very special experiences we had. i love the man i married and i love knowing he loves me, there's just a lot of love there. ;) as we got closer to the bellagio we both realized we hadn't eaten anything since our little del taco run.......this time, in-n-out. double double for my man and a number 2 for me. animal style. we took it up to the suite and ate at the bellagio in style! nathan and i are probably the only people in the history of the world to stop at two drive throughs (drivethrough wedding chapels don't count) on their wedding day. i love my life!!! the burgers were good too.

nuptials and tacos

june 6, 2009. a day i'll remember for the rest of forever. this day was the day i became forever young. i woke up that morning from a phone call to my very-soon-to-be-husband, he is so wonderful! after we chatted for a few minutes i started to get ready for the big day. everyone was running around like crazy around me trying to prepare for the big day and i felt like i was in a movie where they do that scene where everyone is in fast motion all around them, like super speedy, and I'm just kinda of there doing my thing like "la di da di da". it's kinda of surreal. I just sat in my room curling my hair and doing my makeup while my sweet brothers ran around like crazy little men setting up everything, bless their hearts. wes made a sonic run and got everyone breakfast sandwiches (yum! the perfect wedding breakfast!) Before I knew it, it was time for me to jump in the car and meet my man at the temple. i threw on some church clothes and headed out the door. i doubt there is a crazier feeling than driving myself to the temple to be married! i talked to nathan for a few minutes and then drove most of the way with my thoughts and alan jackson on the radio. i'll never forget the feeling that came over me as i made the turn onto bonanza from hollywood and saw the beautiful temple. so many times i had looked to the temple for comfort, for peace and looked forward to the time i would go to be sealed to the love of my life- the time was now! no words can ever describe the feelings i felt as i looked up at the spires of the temple and smiled. as i pulled into the parking lot i got even more excited when i saw all the other brides coming out, their families waiting for them and the feelings of joy and excitement that seemed to surround the entire place. as i parked my car and met up with nathan the excitement started to surge through both of us. the next time we walked out to the car, we would be sealed together for time and all eternity! we stopped by a bench and nathan said a quick prayer for us. i can't recall ever feeling so calm and right. after nathan's words we stood up and hugged, it was so much fun as we walked to the temple and nathan opened the door for me to walk in. we smiled at each other as he opened the second door to the beautiful temple. we walked to the counter as two seperate people and showed the temple worker the pieces of paper that show we are recommended to enter the temple. as nathan and i walked past the counter and into the temple our eternal life together began. my grandfather sealed us together for time and all eternity in an amazing ceremony that can not be described in words of this earth. after the ceremony and a few quiet, special moments together, nathan and i again walked to the doors that lead out of the temple. this time we walked out as one. it seemed like there were millions of people waiting outside for us. it was amazing to walk out and see all the people that love and support us. we took pictures and after a million congratulations people began to leave. i was denied the privilage of taking my dress off and putting regular clothes on and i was forced to stay in the beautiful torture chamber. after we gathered our things nathan and i walked to the car, as a married couple. as we walked and quietly spoke of how CRAZY it is that we're married i heard a familiar voice shout my name. "HEATHER!!!! OH MY GOSH HEATHER!!!!!" i turned to see lisa tippetts running towards me. it was so much fun to see her and give her a hug! she was there picking up her daughter's sealing dress, they had been sealed together last saturday. it was so much fun! as nathan and i drove away i think we were both in awe at the experience we had both just had. as we began to make the 30 minute drive back to my house we both realized how hungry and thirsty we were. a del taco run was in the cards for sure. we pulled into the closest del taco, wedding dress, cufflinks and all and ordered a chicken taco and drink. perfect!

number 52

it's funny how days seem to drag by while you wait in anticipation for a special event and then when you only have a week left, you wonder what you've been doing that whole time and it seems there will never be enough time to get everything you need to get done, done. thus i found myself, just a few minutes before nathan's family and my family were suppoesd to meet officially for the first time, with a prayer in my heart, a number in my hand and a place in the cutting line at joannes. somehow, this simple task of getting material for table clothes had escaped the "to do" list and now was the only moment left to do it. surprisingly, i felt no stress, everything would be fine. i hoped nathan and i would be on time to meet with the familes we both love so much. while i waited for a man who looked like albert einstein to finish getting his animal skin-type material cut so my number could be called, i reflected back over the past year and all the adventures it held for nathan and i. i thought about the day we met, he and sean (our mutual friend) came over to my apartment for dinner and after we saw iron man. i'll never forget how nervous i was and how stupid i felt when i introduced nathan to my roommates before even being introduced myself. i remembered sitting by him in the movie, hardly paying attention to iron man and only thinking about the man sitting right next to me, nathan. he looked so cute in his striped collared shirt, hat and NUMBER 52 TO THE CUTTING BOARD PLEASE! that was me. i went and got the material pieces we needed and left the craft store capitol of the world. the rest of the day and into the next is a blur. i remember laughing, hugging, talking and sleeping. it was the night before my wedding. i remembered talking to my friends before they got married, wondering how they would ever sleep that night. wondering how they were feeling. wondering what was going through their minds. now it was my turn. i was surprised to feel nothing but complete peace and calm. i had a wonderful talk with my amazing mother and after a goodnight call from my fiance-for-one-more-day, i went to sleep that night with no problem and had sweet dreams of the following day. all the plans, all the waiting, all the everything to do with wedding planning was OVER! i thought for a moment i would miss the thrill of it all....then i came to my senses. i don't know what wedding planners see in it.